Spring Break Trippin’

Road  Guilt Trip

WHY all of the parent guilt about going somewhere memorable for Spring Break? Do you remember where you went for Spring Break when you were in 4th grade? ME NEITHER.

One of my friends actually answered this question recently. “Yes. I do remember. NOWHERE.”

What has happened? Why are all of my fellow parents taking  kids to Orlando theme Parks? They will only come back and tell my kids the AWESOME parts on Monday morning. We won’t hear about the line for the Harry Potter ride, or the bathroom “incidents” after Splash Mountain. Standing for an hour holding your place to see the character parade won’t be mentioned. Nor will the laborious trip back, full of lofty expectations fulfilled and nowhere to go but home.

Not only does 8 hours in a car not sound like a break of any kind, unless you count my teeth breaking as I grind them in my car sleep, but it’s one entire spring Break day lost to gas station potties and convenience store snacks. (No. My answer is the same as the last Exit. You still can’t have Yoo Hoo and Combos). And about the beach; unless we are going to Florida (again, 8 hours away), the water is going to be cold and the shoreline will not generate a gentle breeze, but straight wind gusts.

Sure, we could fly, which would mean all college savings devoured in round trip airline tickets. Considering our oldest is in 10th grade, do the math. Scholarships are her only hope. “One more lap missy!  That’s a Basic Science class you’re swimming for! And you need to shave .3 seconds off of the time if you want to take that writing course!”

The cost of air travel is the sort of investment I’d like to see more of a return on than expediting my reunion with Mickey.

Might I suggest some advanced planning? Perhaps wait until summer time when youngsters have a whole 2 months to lose a little intensity in the retelling of the saga that was your VACATION, so as to assuage jealousy? Or could you travel “off season” when it’s less of a mob mentality, and more just YOUR family going on a special trip? Do this for us, have pity. Spare me the shaming of a Spring Break spent at home, washing the car in the driveway like a commercial! That’s advertising true happiness. Let us believe all families spend Spring Break happily (sometimes angrily) squirting each other with hoses and throwing sponges.

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