A “Project” for Dr. James Dobson.

The news is full of things to become passionate about. It seems like journalism is now defined as, “We all want to have an issue to have an opinion about and become outraged to the point of a call to action.” Well I have something here.

It has come to my attention that there exists a prominent evangelical psychologist, by the name of Dr. James Dobson. I understand Dr.Dobson, that you are tackling issues our country is facing and mobilizing the church to action; starting with focusing on the family.

I hear you are incorporating all manner of Congressional Legislation and the like. In my opinion- we have a giant fish to fry when it comes to the the very fabric of family.

It’s called school projects. This issue involves a strong tendency towards procrastination. This delay in initiation usually results in very unsavory feelings of parents toward their kids when forced into a very urgent departure from whatever important task or Netflix show they were enjoying to take a trip to the store. The emergent nature of this trip to the store will often lead to an establishment that we’d otherwise have higher standards than to patronize – Wal Mart. Furthermore, because of the urgency with which we have to decide on which items to select, we are less budget- conscious and more prone to “just throw it all In the cart-we will use it eventually.” We abandon our Dave Ramsey inspired budgets and overspend on copious amounts of cardboard, poster board, and markers that inevitably dry out the moment they are needed most.

This is the kind of thing a person who leans toward the “ Charismatic” end of your readership may call … “A scheme and plan of the enemy.” And I tend to agree. This project season will stab at the nucleus of the family.

We have children running upstairs while crying loudly and slamming doors. We have fathers and mothers returning from a hard days’ work gaping aghast at the entire house strewn with construction paper and scissors, along with glue sticks lying about the floor. We also find an increased occurrence of weapons in the home. Guns. Hot glue guns are treacherous and the clear glue strings result in witchcraft spiderwebs that suddenly show up everywhere. It’s enough to send any otherwise sane adult into hysterics. Nevermind the ensuing tumult that results from This LACK OF ORDER.

Once the adults are drawn in to assist, there is no chance of healthy interaction, because smushing a 2-week project into an overnight occurrence breeds impatience. There’s also zero to zilch likelihood of meals being produced to sustain us. This sends blood sugar plummeting which causes increased occurrence of negative attitude and discord. So now we have to concern ourselves acutely with unmet nutrition requirements involving all sorts of preservatives and red dye #40.

And also, the printer magically runs out of ink the moment we’re finally ready to produce the fonts and pictures we’ve labored for hours to whittle down. And how do those markers mystically know exactly which colors to dry out? How is it foreknown the very colors we had in mind to use, requiring another frantic dash to the store ? It’s demonic. It’s probably because I let them watch Harry Potter. I let an unclean spirit into my home through the portal of my television, and it’s magically drying out markers. UN-Magic markers.

It’s like the printer is in spiritual warfare cahoots with the markers as to which colors to deplete at just the right time. That is straight- up satanic when you have a printer in communication with markers to deplete ink!

This could be a call to fasting and prayer to end the school projects being forced upon our young ones. Maybe there is a list of senators that can be published so we can communicate directly with our representatives and heads of state as needed.

But something must be done. The health of our Families is at stake.

Categories Family, Humor, kids, School, UncategorizedTags , , , ,

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