I Don’t Want To Know

I don’t want to know.   My slightly sarcastic and not-at-all lazy approach to the involvement I’m willing to have in my  high schooler’s education:

Here is what I think about getting involved in your High School education.  I don’t.  By the time you’re a Junior, don’t give me a progress report, I wont read it.  For instance, IF you fail Algebra- you need to take summer school.  It will give you something to do this summer.  And hopefully that will help you figure out what happens when you don’t do stuff.  Things don’t get done.  This is “ Basic Human 101”.  The first two steps are as follows :

  1. We live on Planet Earth
  2. On this planet if the humans don’t do things then things don’t happen.   

It’s not my job to conjure up motivation or initiative for anyone. IF you don’t do something and then it doesn’t MAGICALLY get done anyway, then eventually 2 and 2 will get put together to equal … I better give a s*!@% if I want to advance.

I do not even want to know what your homework is. I want YOU to know what your homework is.  When you are 16, making sure you check an assignment off of a list of assignments should now be in your skill set.  I don’t want to see an email with your missing assignments. That’s really none of my business.

I have already gone to High School.

I do not want to learn Algebra again.  It was enough the first time!  Call them NUMBERS for crying out loud!!! What is with this INTEGERS??? See how it gets me too intense? Algebra brings out the worst in me, and creates an inordinate need for cookies.

Trust me, I don’t want to nag you about your schoolwork.  In fact – I honestly don’t even want to know what you’re doing in class, unless of course it involves a drug bust where they bring the German Shepherd into History class. Or that cute couple who wear matching cowboy boots to school. When you were in 5th and 6th grade (consequently where both of your siblings are now), I was still checking in; still offering help with projects and such.  Gluing things to poster board is maddening to be sure, but I’ll make the sacrifice and get involved.

I will not get involved with balancing a chemistry equation.  This is your rodeo, sister.  It’s time to grasp the concept of doing things we don’t want to do.  We do them anyway, primarily so we can move on to 12th grade.  Things we don’t want to do will ALWAYS be there.  I don’t want to file our taxes, or make phone calls to people to schedule needed services. I don’t want to read “Crucial Conversations” before my next meeting. I just want to get there and run my mouth. I don’t want to drive 2 hours away this weekend for soccer tournaments.  There are 3 fields within 5 miles of our home for cryin’ out loud.  But it doesn’t have to make SENSE to me where the best locations are.  Just like it doesn’t have to make SENSE to you “why basic sciences are requirements for a High School diploma.”

You’ll get through it. It doesn’t bother me if it takes you a little extra time, as long as it doesn’t cost me extra money!  But it’s your class to get through.  Not mine. I AM here for you if you need a ride to Target for writing utensils, because I love the prospect of getting 6$ shirts, a Walkman that plays cassette tapes, obscure rice crackers, hand soap, and kombucha all in one stop.  And while I’m no help with Algebra, I can for SURE teach you a thing (or seven) about the fine art of procrastination.

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