MY Sheets are ON STAGE ???!!!

My sheets are on stage !!!?????

Hold. UP. When you asked if you could use the sheets from my bed for your 4th grade production, I agreed. With Theater Department budget cuts an’ all, I’m glad to do my part to support. (With the exception of giving ACTUAL money, of course- we spent all of that on tuition -ahem- and shin guards, because the sports boosters got to me first).

I thought I’d have the chance to check the linen closet and carefully select which sheets you took to school for your friends to WEAR as costumes in front of the entire student body…and some of their parents!

Among other things, we eat ice cream and chips, along with those amazing Trader Joes peppermint honey candies while watching Netflix in our bed- on those sheets!

Now everyone at school will potentially know that I think Oxi Clean is wasted on laundry items that we don’t typically WEAR IN PUBLIC.  We save that for your school uniform shirts so people respect us in the community!

I don’t pay careful attention to laundry that will essentially be hidden from view.  And this certainly is not the 1940’s.  People do not IRON SHEETS anymore. We barely even get the sheets put on the bed.  Sometimes, while the sheets sit clean and dried yet balled up on the couch, we sleep on the mattress pad while covered in the down comforter (because there are days the effort of stretching a fitted sheet over a pillow top mattress is just TOO MUCH exertion).  So honestly, NEED is a very subjective word when it comes to sheets.

This is a real nail biter.  I am literally sitting here waiting for students to walk across the stage WEARING my sheets to ensure that there are not giant stains all over their “costumes.”  We may need to switch schools.