Well, Absolutely (*100%!)

Can everyone please stop saying ABSOLUTELY ?????!!!!!

Do we know what an absolute is? I do not claim to have writing prowess or a special aptitude for grammar. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT claiming to have the corner on vocabulary or the proper usage of words. Not at all.
Indeed, an actual Pulitzer Prize Winner read my blog and basically told me that it sucks. To be fair, he then softened the blow by saying “But it’s your style, it’s your voice, you’re funny “ …Or something like that. Basically “This is shit writing, but you do you, girl. You do you.” Absolutely!

Will you unload the dishwasher? ABSOLUTELY!
Is it not enough just to agree to accomplish what’s requested of us, in this case, putting away some cups, without unequivocal determination?

May I borrow your pen? ABSOLUTELY!
Is it necessary to grant permission to relinquish our pens to strangers by irrevocably swearing to do so?

Is tomorrow a good day to meet up? ABSOLUTELY!
Now I DERNED -well better show up. That may as well have been followed up by expialidocious.

Let’s look up Absolutely now on dictionary.com-
– without exception; completely; wholly; entirely:
-positively; certainly.
-(used emphatically to express complete agreement or unqualified assent)

Do we really need to COMMIT this wholeheartedly to everyday activities?

Wow. ease up, is all I’m saying. It doesn’t have to be absolute. What if something happens and I can no longer meet up with you tomorrow? Cringe! Thusly, we are in some potential relational disparity because I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to be there. See now- that sounds like rejection.  Not nice.

* NOTE:  Replacing “Absolutely!” with “100%!” Is now officially overused as well.

Categories Family, Humor, UncategorizedTags , , , ,

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